Painful Silence

My Letters to Alexander

Written By: Amie Shalom

Protecting you has always been my responsibility, from the minute you were conceived and I was aware of you, and in the difficult moments of the pregnancy challenges I always preferred your life over mine.

When at six months of pregnancy I was informed it was either “you or I”, so I said you.

When your father and I went separate ways and you were 2 & 1/2 years old, I always made sure I was there even more for you. Even though I traveled for work, and your nanny had to fill in some times, I was there for you then by rushing home to you as soon as work let me go!

My friendship with you could not be more awesome or more sincere, your love toward me and mine toward you. We were inseparable.

There was no complaint in your behavior when you were with me. When you came from visiting with your father, you always had many complaints but I found  difficult understanding well what you were trying to express. When you grew older and at four, you spoke clearly, honey, I went asking for help.


I know in your heart you are waiting for me to come and get you. I know you desire to be with me. My trust is that our Creator, the God of the universe is Just and He is planning it all.  My faith moves mountains and I know that it is nearly the time where soon, you and I will be together and never look back in fear. My love for you is immeasurable and has made me be a stronger warrior to fight this injustice that only God has seen.

You will always be my baby, my son I always love, I pray for Divine Protection. There are many on our side fighting this spiritual battle that ultimately will be won. It is a matter of time, honey, and it seems a long time.

Mommy has never left you, abandoned or ceased fighting to have you by my side. The rules of the Creator is not what mankind decides. I trust and I am hopeful that soon we will be side-by-side.



Alexander, mommy is thinking of you. I am in your bedroom seeing all your car collection...I miss you honey, I am coming to get you and we will go for a long ride just you and I baby !

Alexander, mommy is thinking of you. I am in your bedroom seeing all your car collection…I miss you honey, I am coming to get you and we will go for a long ride  just you and I baby !



I pray that I reunite with my beloved son–that I have not seen in two years.
I pray that he is healthy and not being abused–divine protection over him.
I pray that my son has not forgotten me and still knows in his heart his mummy is going to rescue him no matter the price.
I pray that I remain faithful to my G-d–which strengthens me, protects me from my enemies and helps me get to the finish line.
I pray that all the targeted Mothers, Fathers and Grand-parents reunite with their Children soon too.
I pray our minds, hearts and souls (and kids) are restored, that we forget this horrific nightmare we have lived for years.

I pray for protection to all the Moms and Dads that are unjustly jailed–because they are being silenced, and, a fast release from jail-prison.

I pray that not one more parent commit suicide over the atrocity the system has done and is doing to millions of families in America and other nations like UK, Denmark, Finland and few other–separating children from their loving parents and forced adopting them and sex trafficking them.
I pray that no more children continue to die-abused and committing suicide– in forced foster care–breaks my heart.
I pray that there will be a TRUE Family Court Reform and our sons and daughters don’t have to live what we have lived.
I pray for all the people that are being terrorized in other nations–act of evil–to be protected and not killed.
I bless all my enemies, forgive them, no resentment and for G-d’s mercy because the G-d I know is a JUST JUDGE.
I bless everyone that have been with me during my painful journey because each one has done what they could.
I say these prayers in the name of Yeshua the Messiah, Amen.

Grateful and appreciative for I am alive–persevered so far, to come to an END VICTORIOUSLY. I believe ! xo

Amore mio, viejito, viejitoooo se acuerda que usted me decia “mami, mami, mami ponga la musica de mimir. ya tengo los ojos cerrao’ y mis oidos listos para oir mi musica, usted tambien cierre los ojos mami, duerma duerma – papa no puede venir aqui a molestranos y hacernos el dano…. mami y ore vamos a orar al angel de la guarda que os cuide mami” viejitoooo yo lo amo mi nino !

Meu filho , você tem que ir para casa com sua mãe , meu Deus s nos tem em suas mãos, sob sua asa , protegido de todo o trabalho do inferno. Nós somos a menina dos seus olhos nenhum toque mal nos dia ou da noite como grandes promessas Senhor nosso Redentor nos fez antes você estava em minha barriga. Meus olhos o verão. Amém



Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free. Proverbs 11: 21

 Keith-Alexander honey Mommie wonders where you are, what are you doing now, hope is your health, who is cleaning your ears, your little nails, truly making sure you are safe and protected baby. One thing I know is that we are getting closer to meet again. Th G-D we serve and love has ordained so and I’ve no doubt Elohim is coming through in His perfect time to reunite us two forever. Chichi, Mami is fighting with all he has, with all she can, with her heart, her mind and soul, physically and spiritually -but most of all our G-D is fighting this intense batle for us two, Elohim Yahweh is with us then who can be against us. Soon you’ll be in m arms and we will pick up our lives fast, moving into happiness, healthy live style, laughter, restoration and love. Ponchi, your Mama’s Family has never ever forgotten you and they are waiting….love you baby Xander. ALmost thre -feeling hopeful.  

 Xander’s Birthdays – Legally  Separated From His Mother  FRAUD  Upon Bergen County Family Court   Xander's Birthdays - Legally Separated From His Mother-FRAUD



 So today I decided to plant the tree I bought last summer to plant with my beloved son Xander waiting for him to be returned home and us two plant it together as a new beginning in both of our lives. It’s obvious was not g-d’s will since he’s still not home and the tree was to die. I planted it by faith -had a helper, but I worked on it as well. I know that every step I’ve made by faith my g-d has seen and He will free us and let us go to grow in Him as he has destined all in His perfect time. I just must be patience, obedient and continue to walk by faith. I know that any day g-d will surprise me and bring my beautiful son home. For I know my redeemer liveth. Amen
Xander Hope of Freedom Tree – 4-29-2015


















Amore el Disquito Con el Videito Para Voce´!


I saw this image on social media and broke my heart. This is how the 90% of the people live in Dominican Republic. Yes very financially 11892238_1483064428672538_174405785726541138_nchallenged. Those kids at least have shoes and clothes, they are not as poor as many others are. I’m posting it because it reminded me of my son Xander when he was 3 years old and went to Dominican Republic to visit my family, he noticed the difference, asked many questions that my Mother wanted to avoid as of why children were selling bottles water on the streets [traffic lights] and had no shoes. The night before we were flying back to USA my son emptied his suitcase and said he was only bringing home his computer and his toys not his clothes, he told his Dominican Republic nanny to please give those kids his clothes and shoes. That’s the heart my boy has.